One week and a day...

I leave for Nicaragua in one week and a day. I am incredibly excited. I went through a period of time a few weeks ago during which I was SCARED. I kept thinking and dwelling on the unknowns and uncertainties. I wondered how I would communicate adequately with the Spanish speaking physicians and patients, since I am an intermediate Spanish speaker? What if I have health problems while I am there? How will I adapt to the culture and language? How will I deal with changes in independence? Will I become close friends with anyone there? How will I finish everything I need to by the time I leave? At times, these insecurities consumed me and I lost focus on my Lord.
In the book My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers states, "Keep paying attention to the Source, and God will either take you round the obstacle or remove it". The most difficult part for me is to keep focused on the Source, the One who has called me. I had to remind myself time and time again to remain in the Source. Trust and submit to the One who is faithful and has called you by name. Slowly, I worked through the fears and insecurities while continually reminding myself to fix my eyes upon Jesus. And now, God has blessed me with an attitude of peace and trust. Although I do not know all of the details, God is always with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. There will be difficulties, yet the One who has called me is faithful.
I am excited. I cannot wait to meet my hosts at CDCA as well as the Nicaraguan people I will come into contact with. I am reading a memoir called The Country Under My Skin by Gioconda Belli. She is Nicaraguan that was heavily involved in the Revolution in Nicaragua during the 1970's. I am soaking up her story and the story of the Nicaraguan people who have survived natural disaster, injustice, poverty, and conflict. I am excited to get to know people who grew up in a place so different from my own and who have different experiences. I also recently watched a movie called Sin Nombre (Without Name). It is in Spanish and has optional English subtitles. This movie tells the stories of a teenage Honduran girl and a Mexican young man and their subsequent meeting and travels together. It is an eye-opening movie and one that I highly recommend.
During my stepdad's surprise birthday party last night, I spent some time with family. I couldn't help but think about how I won't be seeing them again for a long time, and how thankful I am for such supportive, wonderful people in my life. As I take hot showers and sleep in my large, comfortable bed, I thank God. As I eat foods such as dried cherries, granola, blueberries, and chocolate brownies, I am thankful for the abundance of food I have had all of my life. Although I won't be eating many dried cherries and chocolate brownies, sleeping in a large and comfortable bed, or taking long hot showers in Nicaragua, I have no doubt that it will be worth it. I will learn and grow in numerous ways, and will appreciate these blessings even more when I return home. I will be able to more fully understand what poverty means and our responsibilities towards the poor as Christ followers. I will see God alive and at work in the people that I meet, and God will teach me so much through them.
In closing, Confucius said, "wheresoever you go, go with all your heart". I say, "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart, and go with God". God is already in Ciudad Sandino. Yet I can choose each day to abide in the Lord or to go my own way. I will strive to go with God.